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Here's to me

Wow, this has been one hell of a week. Not only did i put in my two weeks notice at work, but i was offered two separate jobs. One would have sucked pretty badly since it was 100 percent commission based, and crappy long hours. The amount of caffiene i would have had to drink would have been massive (as i would have had to deal with going door to door, meeting new people all the time). I did get offered a job at faxback as an administrative assistant. I will be doing about 50 percent admin shipping and invoicing and 50 percent marketing. Its going to be nice not working at Costco anymore. I didn't want to deal with the stupid write ups, the crappy hours and smelling like chicken every night. So cheers to a new job.

Today, however i did have to go to the doctor. I've been having abdominal pain, back pain and side pain. Each day it gradually got worse over the last four days. After a various amount of blood, urine and a few ultrasounds, i learned i have a few cysts on both of my overies. One is a concern and possibly has been causing all of my pain. I get to be on vicodin until i go and see an obgyn. They told me that i need to watch my pain and to watch for a temperature or bleeding. Hopefully they get this figured out since they told me that if it gets any worse, they would need to remove it or my overy could lose blood flow and die. Lets hope it doesn't come to that.

That's my update for now.

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Blazers Win!

Watched an excellent game of basketball tonight with the Blazers taking home court advantage against the Suns.  That last quarter was nerve wracking, but it was totally worth it to see the win.  It was great though, the neighbors next to us were watching the game as well and were cheering with us!

Other than that, worked hard today.  Five hour shifts are always intense... especially midshifting on a sunday.  Had about two hours to clean up shop, take the cardboard and the garbage, finish the dishes and fill the case.  It went down to the last three minutes of my shift, but I still got off at 4PM.  I'm loving getting off earlier on sundays... I actually feel like I can be productive.

Let's hope for another good day tomorrow.



I had a fairly good day today, despite the fact I worked most of the day.  I bounced around work, and actually was quite chatty.  I like it when I have days like that... seems to carry throughout the rest of the day into the evening.  Now I'm just trying to settle down and relax for the evening.

I had a really nice text chat with my sister today, probably the longest we have talked in a while.  I really miss that.  I hope the doctor's figure out her whole headache thing.  It really doesn't sound like a fun thing to be going through..

Oh, just when we thought the whole flea thing was over... Heidi, Matt's cat, got a tapeworm.  It didn't happen at the height of the flea problem we had, but at the very end... go figure.  We bought her some medicine and it should get better, it was just gross finding the eggs in the places that she was sleeping (that was how I learned that she was having a problem... other than the fact that she has been throwing up). 

On top of that, we have ants in our small bathroom.  They just randomly showed up yesterday.  We sprayed the bathroom with Raid, and so far so good.  I really didn't expect that our apartment would get ants since we aren't even the main level, but I guess stranger things have happened.  I can't imagine what it would be like on the bottom floor.  After the last apartment and the ant problem we had, I really find ants digusting.  I would like to see someone that doesn't think that wake up with about 100 ants in their bed and say they aren't horrible. 

I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker today... I told him that I feel more of a person when I am actually working and contributing than if I didn't have a job.  Naturally, he thought I was crazy for feeling that way.  He thought that he hobbies defined him and what he does when he isn't working.  We morphed the conversation into "needing the job" versus "wanting the job."  I personally like jobs where I feel like I'm working with the machine... where I feel like what I am doing contributes to the greater good.  I like working in jobs where I can be creative... oh, and I looooove working with food.  I "want" a job that will do that for me.  I feel like I work with a bunch of people that "need" that job... that this is what their life has come to, and that makes me want to puke.  Yes, I have a job, but I am not going to let it be my end all.  I want a job that will broadcast my talents and make me come alive.  That same co-worker of mine has a passion in beer making and applied to jobs at breweries for fun... got offered a job at one and turned it down because he wasn't going to make as much to be able to pay the bills... I never want to be in that position.  If a job comes up that deals with my passions/dreams/desires pops up, I want to be able to take it.  I don't want to be stuck.  That same co-worker mocks me because I like working, but when he would learn what it feels like to actually look forward to work every day and get paid for something that he would actually enjoy... gah.  I want to take the job that makes me happy.  Moral of the story.

I think that sums up my ramblings for today.  I work again tomorrow so I probably should catch a few hours of sleep.


Oh and...

This is just the coolest plant ever!


Starting to take responsibility

Both Matt and I got paid today, and we are getting the money situation all paid off.  All of his debt on his credit score is taken care of, and now we are going to wait for his tax refund to pay off his grandparents and my parents.  We made a discovery of something that was on Matt's credit score that Matt's mom racked up when she made a purchase a few years ago on his account.  We made a deal to swap out the debt to pay them back... that worked out nicely. 

On my end of things, I just set up and bought my car insurance.  I am now insured on my own through Progressive.  I learned the hard way that my insurance went up with my one speeding ticket. Sure it was only about 15 dollars a month more, but OUCH.  Next I will be taking on my cell phone.  With Matt and I's income combined, we will have more than enough to be able to pay our bills and save money each month.  Of course, anytime you add 2,000 to your income, it will make a difference!

Now, I thought I'd share a little piece of happiness with my apartment.  I have been working on making my apartment a home since I have a lot more free time on my hands.  I started with the dining room since it's one of the first things you walk into when you enter.  I have two pictures that sum it up. 

The table cloth is kind of a olive green - forest green.  Look how beautiful the plate looks on the bamboo mat!

I really like this japanese theme I have going on here!

This time I'm coming back.

So, it's really been a bit since I last posted.  Life has kept me busy and away for awhile.  I graduated from Portland State, got my bachelor's degree in Marketing and certificate in Food Industry Leadership (Retailing).  Many people keep asking me now what... I'm still working on that part.  I don't want to be stuck at Costco, but at least I have a job for now.  At 12 an hour, it's not a bad living with Matt's income. 

So, updates with my life... Matt finally has a job.  After a year and a half of searching/applying/waiting he finally has a job.  Life got a little intense for the both of us when it was just my income while I was finishing up school.  He found a full time position working monday through friday... I hope to find the same kind of job, makes me pretty jealous lol.  In fact, not only did he find a full time job, but he found one that works around his military schedule.  That's a huge thing.  Great news really.

Wedding, wedding, wedding.  I wish we had more support.  We've been working to build a life together, and I just wish that my history and actions with my family would get easier... its been a long process.  I had to set things to the side to figure out how to juggle all that I did.  I let things really slide and really build up... now I get to deal with the reprecussions of these actions.  I just wish that we get to the point where my family finally gets on my side about this... Matt isn't the monster that they are making him out to be.  I haven't changed, and if I have its been for the better.  I am going to keep the faith on this.  I want this to work out by August....

Family in general... still fighting and trying to get back to the way things were... its been hard.  My sister told me that my mom still cries herself to sleep over me.  They still think that I died when I moved out.  They have said some really horrible things... and I'm still there taking it.  I want it to be normal again, but I fear it will never be the same again.  I really broke the relationship by my actions last year... I let a lot of people down and I broke a lot of hearts.  I'm going to try to make things better again, it's just going to take time.  Tears me apart a lot of the time.  At least it's been getting better, it's just not what I want it to be.

Matt's family has been interesting... I watched the rise and the fall of Amanda's family... the wedding and the coming divorce.  Desirae is really adorable though.  She lights up when she sees me, it's just wonderful.  Caryn lived with us for a little bit, the two months of her living off us, and watching her destroy her life... now she is engaged to a guy she has been dating for four months and wants to get married the month before Matt and I.  At least with Matt and I, we have been dating for nearly two years... but four months?! She is younger than I am and I have my life more put together than her... I can't even imagine.  The things people do when they are bored.  Matt's mom is starting to go downhill... but she is still hanging in there.  She is living with her husband Dan again... she has stopped talking to Matt about what is going on, and I can tell that it bugs him.  The other day she had a big scare, and didn't talk to Matt more than three minutes in two weeks... and never told him what happened, and she still won't tell him.  I just hope everything is okay.  It's going to be rough on his family when she finally passes.

Video games don't rule my life currently... I haven't been playing WoW in about two weeks now.  I've been working on getting the house organized and redecorated so I really haven't been all that interested in playing.  My online buddies are probably sad, but oh well.

I have been hanging out with my friends on a weekly basis.  Haven't been interested in drinking as much.  Trying to have a good time without feeling it in the morning.  Guess I'm really growing up.  I've been watching and learning more about the friends that I associate myself with.. I'm glad I have what I have.  I have an eduation, I have a job and I'm relatively happy. Some people are just not happy though... time to meet new people I guess.  I stopped hanging out with Kat permanently.  I won't go back to that destructive relationship.  I won't make that mistake again.  Some people are better off forgotten and left in the past.

Other than that, it's me just trying to figure out what I want in life.  I've had so much more free time now, it's been nice to just relax.  I've been doing a lot of soul searching to finally figure out what the causes of my frustrations are, what I want to change in my life and what I want to do.  I want to make it in this life so badly.  At least I'm at a turning point in my life.  Just need to find the right motivations to figure out what that means.

Now over a week of snow... is it gone yet?